Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving with a frog, scorpion, and jig saw.

  • I have so much to be thankful for this year. At the top of the list is my wonderful wife and best friend, Jenny, and the six kids we have the privilege of sharing our lives with. I could go on, and often do, but I'll leave it there.

  • I promise not to turn this into another "things I'm thankful for". I've already ended one sentence with a preposition, and I know the grammar police are out there and ready to pounce. I will add a quick "thanks" to all of you who stop by here to read these ramblings. I'm always surprised at the numbers, and appreciate your kindness (and criticisms, though not as much).

  • My one-of-a-kind parents were here for an early Thanksgiving. They left Tuesday to go back to Florida. Jenny and I dropped them at the airport at 9:15 a.m. and received a call from my mom a half hour later at 9:45. Could we come back? I thought their flight had been canceled, but it turns out my dad tried to carry on a jig saw and a belt sander. Where do I start. I'm not sure which is more ridiculous, that in 2008 my father thought he could get through airport security with Bob the Builder's tool kit, or that security thought my dad would be a threat to pull out the jig saw, insert the blade, find an outlet, and threaten to hijack the plane. Or maybe they feared he'd threaten to sand someone's arm until he had an unbearable burn. He could have checked his bag, sander and all, but no way my mom's paying $30 for something that was once free.

  • My favorite Thanksgiving food is either the jello salad with marshmallows so many people don't like, or cranberry sauce. But I prefer the cranberry sauce right out of the can, where you can still see the ridges as it sits in the bowl. For some reason, that's better than homemade to me.

  • The Lions are going to go 0-16. I know they can do it. My father and I went to a number of Bucs games the year they went 0-14 in those Pirates of Penzance uniforms. I loved every minute of it. We saw OJ Simpson play, and he was scary good. He later became just scary. Funny the things you remember about being a kid, but I recall my dad making the best sub sandwiches for our tailgating. He called them hoagies. He'd cut them with a jig saw.

  • Shawn Terrell says I need to stop repeating myself when it comes to Gene Chizik. Shawn says he's heard the following over-and-over: 1) Chizik didn't understand what he was getting into. 2) He deserves more time. Shawn's right, and I don't have much else to add.

  • Shawn also says he's sick of the picture of the Cubs fans in tears that appears over my should during sportscasts. Shawn says he feels it could be him. Exactly. That one continues.

  • When Indiana hired Kelvin Sampson, I used this forum to remind the Hoosiers of the Scorpion and the Frog. Scorpion asks the frog for a ride across the pond, frog worries that the scorpion will kill him, scorpion says he won't do that "because we'd both drown". Frog agrees to the ride, halfway across he feels a sting in his back, and says "why did you do that? Now we'll both die!" Scorpion says, "I could not help myself, it's my nature." Indiana, you're the frog. Sampson's the scorpion. How did that feel?

  • A few weeks ago, I mentioned I was hearing Bill Snyder wanted back in at Kansas State. I took a little heat for that, but the source was correct. It explains why Ron Prince didn't even get three years. Snyder wanted his old job back, and K-State fans have forgotten Snyder was under .500 his final two seasons.

  • Joe Frazier stopped by the SoundOff studio last week, on his way to Prairie Meadows, and he couldn't have been nicer. Joe's in tough shape these days, but he came to life with fans around him (and by fans, I mean B-Ross). Those three fights with Ali will live forever. And to think, in those days, we watched for free on ABC's Wide World of Sports.

  • How much money has Michael Buffer made by yelling, "Let's Get Ready to Rummmmmmmmbllllllllle!" This guy and Vanna White figured it out.

  • Las Vegas oddsmakers still don't have Shonn Greene on the Heisman Trophy betting board. Four of the top five are Big 12 quarterbacks; the other is Tim Tebow. This could be interesting. The Big 12 guys will obviously split a lot of regional votes, not to mention the split between Harrell and Crabtree, and a surging Tim Tebow is again a threat to win. He's going to own his region, and could pick up more support elsewhere with a lights out showing against Alabama. I'm holding my vote until the last minute. I think Greene has proven himself the best running back in the country, and he deserves a seat at the ceremony, but with Iowa unranked, and Greene coming from nowhere, it's going to be tough.

  • Chris Hassel's parody of Marty Tirrell has earned raves from all over, including Marty himself.

  • Thanks to Jon Miller for letting Andy and I sit in in on KXNO a couple times this week. We had a blast, and Andy nearly wet his pants when Chris called in from Vegas as Marty.

  • Happy Thanksgiving. And thanks.


9 comments:

Anonymous said...

You scooped Snyder back to K-State alright. You and Marty Tirrell's dentist.

Anonymous said...

i dont care about k-st or martys dentist but i'll listen if hassle does it. that was so firkin funny i laugh now when ever i hear marty.

Anonymous said...

To all who have just joined the Chris Hassel ban wagon- Welcome Abooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooard!
This guy is so funny he takes the Hassel out of Hasselhoff.

Anonymous said...

Is there a way to hear this impession of Marty by Chris if we weren't fortunate enough to hear it live? On the web site maybe? I am always in the mood to laugh my arse off!

Anonymous said...

Watch Chris channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-oAXviUjrY

shane - marshalltown said...

I thought Chris',"welcome aboooooooooooooooa-aaaa-aaaard" was awesome...right up until he did the screaching "Marty laugh" and that's when I started choking on my own saliva...holy crap...

shane - marshalltown said...

You could also scroll down the sports page at whotv.com and it's right there in the videos.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Shawn Terrell...enough with the Cubs picture(do we not endure enough each year)...let's find a picture of some Cyclone fans and laugh at that for awhile!

shane - marshalltown said...

That's already old...I'd like to nominate "that Penn State chick" who's fightin' it hard after Murray's kick went through the uprights...