Murphy's Law

• Mark McGwire had five years to craft an admission/apology and that's what he came up with? Who's advising him---Bruce Van De Velde? That was terrible crisis management.
• Giving McGwire the benefit of the doubt, I still don't see how he could convince himself that steroids didn't help him hit more home runs. All evidence to the contrary, including his own numbers.
• If you're playing, when you should still be injured, you're cheating.
• McGwire had many regrettable comments, but none more stupid than "I wish I hadn't played in the steroids era". Mark, you were the steroids era. No one forced you to put that crap in your system.
• I realize the cheating was widespread, even understandable, but how can McGwire now teach baseball? He, and hundreds of others, made millions off cheating, and they haven't had to refund a dollar. Meantime, many fringe players who didn't cheat, never made it to the Majors, or had their numbers suffer in comparison to these cheaters.
• Yeah, I'm not over it. I feel retroactively foolish for all that cheering I did in '98. How could we have been so stupid. When you see those highlights now, McGwire and Sosa look like video game cartoons --- nothing natural about it.
• If McGwire thinks he would have hit all those home runs without taking steroids, why did he apologize to the Maris family? Because he knows somewhere deep that 61 is still the real record.
• Don't even get me started on Bonds---worst offender of all. And he can't do a confession or apology, he'll perjur himself and go straight to prison.
• Enough. I'm annoying myself.
• I have been fascinated by the Late Night Talk Show Wars. What a mess. Here's a summary:

NBC execs mismanaged the Leno/Conan landscape from the start (shocking, I know), Leno didn't want to leave #1 show, Conan took over anyway, Leno moved to prime time where most every affiliate in America---we're a notable exception---suffered in late local news; meantime, Conan mostly stopped being funny and refused tips/advice as his numbers plummeted from where Leno's were, Letterman then had sex with most of his staff, got in front of the scandal, awkwardly confessed/apologized on air for being a "creep", and saw his ratings go up. NBC pulled plug on Leno experiment, tried to move Leno to 10:35 for a half hour, Conan wrote a smart, heartfelt, funny letter explaining why he would not move. Leno then looked like the heavy, anger energized Conan into his funniest shows in years, Jimmy Kimmel went on Leno's own show and skewered Leno as Kimmel was noticed for the first time since the video "F---ing Matt Damon" and Letterman relished opportunity to hammer NBC for passing on him for Leno back in the day, and somehow Jay looked worse than Dave, all things considered. Now, Leno gets what he wanted all along, The Tonight Show, Conan gets a vault of cash, potential future show at Fox, and a huge outpouring of support and sympathy, Letterman worries about losing his #1 status now that Jay's back, but Dave knows he helped make Leno look like bully (which, in a way, he is), Kimmel wishes this fight could continue forever, Jimmy Fallon stays silent and hopes The Roots never leave, and Carson Daly remains irrelevent. Now you're caught up.

• You know Iowa's basketball program is having tough times when we're breathlessly reporting about the possible return of Jake Kelly. The part I found most interesting was Kelly considering a return to the University he left a year ago. It was kind of like one of those head-scratchers where a couple meet, fall in love, get married, then divorced, and then re-married... to each other. Shawn Terrell talked to Jake and learned Kelly isn't transferring, though it was clear from the conversation the thought had crossed him mind.
• Congrats to Todd Lickliter and Iowa for knocking off Penn State. That's one more Big Ten win than many predicted.
• As the Register's Randy Peterson noted, when Iowa State needs to end a long, ugly streak, the Cyclones call in their slumpbuster: Nebraska. (If you don't know the original use of the word slumpbuster, proceed with caution to a "slumpbuster" google search.)
• Lane Kiffin makes Gene Chizik look loyal.
• Love this quote from http://www.sportspickle.com/

"Apologies to Kurt Warner and Ray Lewis on being eliminated from the playoffs. My attention has been elsewhere with the whole Haiti thing."
-God

• I love watching Warner when he's in rythym, like he was against Green Bay, but he was beaten up so badly by the Saints, I wonder if it's time to retire. He's had a number of concussions, and played a lot more football than most.
• "Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground". Can't get that stupid earworm out of my head. The real problem is I keep singing it, and I don't even like it. My wife is ready to hit me in the face with a frying pan.
• I'm still trying to get the 85 minutes of my life back I wasted on Paranormal Activity.
• Let the hype begin. Iowa is #5 in Sports Illustrated first college football poll for 2010. Hawks earned it too.