A-Roid, Hilton Magic Disappears, and Taking Out a Mortgage for Little League

• The five players who, arguably, impacted Major League Baseball the most in the past decade are now all linked to steroids. A-Rod, Bonds, McGwire, Sosa, and Clemens. So far, only A-Roid came clean, and that's after he was backed into a corner, following years of denials. Still, it was the smart play.
• A-Rod says he only used steroids when he played for Texas and felt all that pressure to be one of the greatest players of all time. Let me get this straight, he felt pressure in a place where next to no one cares about baseball---Texas---but he never juiced when playing in baseball's most pressure packed spotlight, Yankee Stadium? Could be true. We can't believe much of what we hear, but we've learned to trust what we see. All of the power players above looked over-inflated and put up video game numbers, several at times when their careers should be in decline.
• I wish MLB would put Hank Aaron and Roger Maris back on top where they each belong. I suppose it's impossible to do because we still don't fully know who cheated and who didn't, but it's slowly becoming clear. The power era was a fraudulent joke, and somewhat understandable. Those artificially inflated numbers led to billions of dollars in player salaries, and to date, no one has had to give back a single penny. The cost has been humiliation, shame, and possibly raisin-size testicles.
• Props to Alex Rodriguez and his teams of crisis management advisers for being much smarter than Barry Bonds or Roger Clemens. Admit to wrongdoing, apologize for mistake, look really sorry. Bonds and Clemens kept denying in the face of an overwhelming mountains of evidence and now the Hall of Fame is the least of their problems. We Americans will forgive you, but you have to go Jimmy Swaggert, not Richard Nixon (or Bill Clinton, if you prefer.).
• It's hard to watch the newscast right now and hear about another local company laying off a bunch of workers. It just doesn't end. I can't imagine what those people are going through, and my heart goes out to them.
• If the economy continues in this direction, we're going to see a huge impact on local sports. In a way, we already are. Winning trumps everything, and we're seeing that people will not spend money to watch losing basketball. Iowa is giving tickets away to students and selling reserved seats for $10---to men's games. Hilton Coliseum hasn't had a sellout this year, and likely won't. Drake comes off it's best season in four decades, but with the Dogs in a slump, finding a seat is no problem on any night. This will put more pressure on coaches to win now. (Even UNI is fighting apathy, and the Panthers are in first place.)
• Eventually fans are going to turn against professional athletes. While fans lose their jobs, 401K's, and benefits, it's pretty hard to hear about a guy turning down $25 million for one season of baseball.
• Jenny and I always try to hit Wrigley Field for a weekend, but $800 or so for baseball seems crazy right now. Principal Park will do just fine.
• The Barnstormers had it figured out ahead of time. That's why af2 is still playing and AFL is not. $10 tickets work in a recession, $100 tickets do not---unless you're in Pittsburgh.
• I continue to hear from hockey fans who say the Chops are doing everything right, including reasonable ticket prices (concession is another matter, though out of the Chops hands). However, one problem won't go away: atmosphere. Even on a rare night when Iowa pulls in 7,000 fans, it's never that energetic, magical shared experience you'd get in a building that holds 7,000. Wells Fargo Arena is just too big for hockey in Des Moines.
• Michael Phelps didn't hurt anyone but himself ---and the feelings of his fans, especially the young ones. Driving drunk was a far more serious offense because he could have killed someone. I did my share of stupid things when I was 23, though smoking weed wasn't one of them. The thing I can't quite understand is how Phelps could be so foolish and naive. Did he really not stop and think that in this day and age, someone might take a picture? You can't do anything without someone whipping out a cell phone and putting it on his or her Facebook page 15 minutes later. Heck, my wife embarrassed me in no time just because I made the mistake of wearing a Snuggie on the couch to prove you can hold a cell phone and a remote at the same time, thanks to the blanket's sleeves!
• Mark Phelps may need more players who didn't play under Dr. Tom or Keno. I don't think the holdovers quite buy into the new system. If you don't believe, it won't work.
• I hate that Greg McDermott is not getting it done at Iowa State. He's a perfect fit in every way, but there's no way to excuse Iowa State losing 17 of its past 19 Big 12 games. Worst of all, Hilton Magic is all but dead. Even when Johnny Orr's teams couldn't win a Big 8 game away from Ames, they'd take down a top ten team or two at Hilton. It seems like Orr's team would often come close to being winless on the conference road, and undefeated at home. Tim Floyd and Larry Eustachy started winning home and away. The Magic started to slip at the end of the Eustachy era, fell further under Wayne Morgan, and now it's just gone. Iowa State must get it back. I'd argue Hilton Magic is Iowa State's most iconic athletic identity.
• Colin and I took in "Paul Blart, Mall Cop". I enjoyed it more than I anticipated. Kevin James shows a flair for the kind of physical comedy John Belushi made famous. Instantly forgettable, but sweet. B-
• Last week's "30 Rock" with Alec Baldwin as "Generalissimo", bad guy in a Spanish soap opera, was genius. Baldwin puts on a comedy timing clinic each week. "Friday Night Lights" also had its best episode since season one. The goodbye to Smash was moving because it took a long time to get there.
• Has anyone seen "The Secret Life of Bees"? I never really wanted to, but my friend Franklin Greene made me curious. You remember Franklin---he's about 6 foot 8 and has that BOOMING James Earl Jones voice. Anyway, Franklin said he saw the Secret Life of Bees. I asked him what he thought. Franklin replied, and I quote, "I didn't think I was going to like it, but man, I cried like a bitch." That made me cry.
• We just signed up for Raccoon Valley Little League. Our monthly installments start in March. RVLL is awesome, but when did Little League get so expensive? Or as judge Odell McGhee said to me on his way in, "Whatever happened to playing in the backyard? Or the sandlot?" (Reminds me, I need to watch "Sandlot" again.)
• Tell me if this ever happens to you, because my wife has turned it into a science. She'll try to make be think I'm making a decision, when in fact she is. Real life example: Saturday at Firkin Fox (okay food, great service), we ordered nachos. Our waitress said, "chicken or beef". Jenny said to me, "I don't care. You pick whatever you want... as long as it's not beef."
• Saturday we also dropped Cade off at "Chuck E Cheese". That place is INSANE on Saturdays. They didn't have enough people working for the 57 birthday parties going on at once. I felt like I was dropped into a can of Red Bull.

Post Super Bowl Scattershot Thoughts

• Great Super Bowl. That makes two in a row. Let's hope this pattern continues. Remember when Super Bowls were an annual letdown? This is way better.
• Kurt Warner couldn't have done much more. He made the one awful pass, but that was also a great disguise by the Steelers defense. I think Kurt probably should have thrown it in Larry Fitzgerald's general direction more in the first half, but overall I'm just proud to know Kurt. He wins NFL Man of the Year before the kickoff, and then goes out and plays a great game for a franchise I never expected to see in February. I was surprised how emotionally invested I was in wanting to see Kurt and the Cards win.
• It always surprises me how many Steelers fans there are in Iowa, but maybe it shouldn't. They look like the Hawkeyes, and several generations came of age when the Steelers were winning a Super Bowl. Six titles. That's just greedy.
• Overall I thought it was a subpar year for commercials. I loved the Bud Light Boardroom, the Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast, and the Doritos Vending Machine. Didn't see all the spots though.
• Time marches on. One of our reporters tonight referred to "M-C Hammer" as "McHammer". You know why? Because she's too young to remember when MC Hammer was the biggest star in music. It's nearly 20 years ago now. McHammer is understandable. However, I know of a news anchor who once called Malcolm X, Malcolm the Tenth.
• Is there a harder decision to make at work then when you walk up to the vending machine, and the snack you really want, like the trail mix, is behind a snack you don't want, like Bugles. So to get what you want, you have to pay twice because you know those Bugles aren't going anywhere. Earlier tonight I paid $1.75 for one bag of trail mix. It was worth it. Plus Chris ate the Bugles (after he wore them like fingernails).
• 12 minutes isn't a lot of time to work a crowd into a frenzy, but Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band got it done. No one saw that set list coming though (except Shawn Terrell who overheard rehearsal at Raymond James Stadium Thursday night): "10th Avenue Freeze Out": only Bruce fans know this song, but it is great live. Unexpected, but it worked. "Born to Run": made Andy get up and walk out. He's sick of it, but it's one of the all time great stadium rockers. A no-brainer. "Working On a Dream": good song off the great new album, and a smart move by Bruce to only play about 90 seconds. Sell some CD's, move along. "Glory Days": perfect ending with great assists from Steve Van Zandt and the pyrotechnics.
• We watched the game at Andy's house. He has a new home theater. The sound is awesome. I thought I was all set up with HD, but I'm now rethinking whether all our kids need to go to college.
• My favorite story of the week was Dave Price's report from Tampa on Justin Hartwig's mother handing out Steeler #62 jerseys to friends and family as they arrived at the airport. I was going to say some positive things about Shawn's reporting, but he rubbed it in a little too much that he was there and we were here.
• My friend Heather Burnside met Kevin Costner before his sold out show at Peoples Friday night. I'm happy to report Heather said Kevin was a good guy. My favorite Costner Movies: 1) Bull Durham 2) Field of Dreams 3) Dances with Wolves 4) Tin Cup 5) Silverado
• Did Rush Limbaugh really say he hopes Obama fails? He is talking about our President, right? If he fails, we all suffer. How is that good for any American? I hope Rush was misquoted. I admit I didn't hear it with my own ears.
• I don't really understand what a Panini sandwich is, but they're really tasty at the new "Good Sons" restaurant in Beaverdale.
• I was reminded Friday night that Cooney's has the best Bloody Marys in Iowa. Saturday morning I was sorry for the reminder.
• Cub Scout Pinewood Derby is a great idea. It's always fun to see whose dad can make the fastest car. Rest assured it was not Cade Murphy's dad.
• I just read "People Are Idiots, And I Can Prove It." Good self-help read. Accurate and wise.
• Now reading John Grisham's "The Associate". One of his best page-turners since "The Firm". If you like Grisham, you'll love it. If you don't, I couldn't talk you into reading more of his stuff anyway.
• Saw "The Wrestler" at the great Fleur Theater Friday night. Mickey Rourke lives up to all the hype with a heartbreaking performance that never lets you see him acting. He's great. Marisa Tomei is nearly as good, and at 44 years old spends most of the movie naked. She's aged well. Great acting, good movie.
• It's been an hour since SoundOff ended. So far, we've received about 25 emails on the Super Bowl, and 35 about Snuggies. They really are warm and cozy.
• Day 76. Still a Facebook holdout.

Scattershot thoughts from January 26th.

• Craig Brackins 42 points could be the worst thing to happen to Greg McDermott. When you hang 42 on the national champs, on national TV, in front of NBA scouts, and the points come from all angles and distances, it makes a Junior season at Iowa State shakier than it was a week ago. If Brackins leaves, it means McDermott would lose his best player for the third straight year (Taylor, Johnson, Brackins). That wouldn't make it any easier.
• I can't figure Drake out. The Bulldogs looked dazed and confused against UNI. They didn't bother showing up at Missouri State. I wondered if they were done. It certainly appeared that way. Then Drake went to Creighton and thumped everyone's pick to win the Valley. I don't think some of the players have completely let go of Keno's philosophy and fully embraced Phelps' system. Until they do, it will remain hit or miss.
• UNI is for real.
• Anytime a coach wants to show a team playing not to lose, he can just pop in a tape of Iowa at Penn State.
• Why has the President, David Palmer, been buried on Iowa's bench for more than a year?
• Until Learfield and the University of Iowa hire another football commentator, I won't give up on the idea of Ed Podolak somehow returning.
• Kirk Ferentz's friend Scott Pioli fired Herm Edwards which means... Ferentz will be back at Iowa next season.
• The John Stoddard Rally Against Cancer was sold out and raised a record amount of money for the fight of fights. Erin Kiernan helped with that in two ways: 1) Erin did a terrific job hosting the auction. 2) Her husband, Mike, won the bidding for a sweet spa package. I doubt it's for him, though Erin did mention Mike could use a Steve Carell type waxing. "Yoooooooow, Kelly Clarkson!"
• Marv Levy is a nice man. His speech at the rally mixed football anecdotes with his winning battle against prostate cancer. It was perfect. When a reporter asked Levy before the Bills Super Bowl if it was a must win, Levy famously said, "No. World War II was a must win."
• Talk about your brother's keeper. Jay McGwire claims he's looking out for Mark's best interest by selling a book that details all Mark's steroid and HGH use. Jay wants to set the record straight. Uh, Jay... I don't think there are many people wandering around wondering if your brother used 'roids. It's pretty clear. No wonder these guys don't speak.
• It was good to see Garth Brooks back on stage at the Inauguration. I had forgotten how ol' Garth can work a crowd---when he's not Chris Gaines.
• How many players will pick out the number 44 to honor our 44th President? Aim high.
• Andy Fales sparked an avalanche of emails by getting something off his chest: Andy thinks Slipknot's music absolutely sucks. The bands fans, known as Maggots, are not amused. (What's Bugging Andy? in whotv.com video player)
• The Arizona Cardinals have next to no fans. Heck, a pool supply company had to buy the final 10,000 seats at Arizona's first playoff game just to get the game televised locally. The Steelers have fans everywhere, including thousands here in Central Iowa. Still, our SoundOff survey shows far more people say they'll root for the Cardinals Sunday. That's the power of Kurt Warner.
• We had a sleepover this past weekend for my son Cade's 8th birthday. Cade invited 7 friends. Learn from our mistake. 8 is way more than enough when it comes to rambunctious boys at a party. Of the seven guests, six had good manners, five were well-behaved, and one was absolutely WILD. I realize the parents of said kids could be reading this, but each will assume that their kid is not the out of control one, so I think I'm in the clear. In the end, Cade had a great time, and it was all worth it. I'm pretty sure.
• We took the wild bunch to "Hotel for Dogs". Cute movie. Jenny liked it more than Marley & Me because the dogs are still alive when the credits roll.
• I can't say enough about what a good guest Shawn Johnson was on SoundOFF. She was game for anything, and she had a lot of fun. My favorite was Shawn watching video of Andy as Bela Karolyi. Both Shawn and her mom, Teri, thought it was spot-on, and we were all still talking about it after the show. Shawn likes Slipknot, so Andy won her back with the Bela impression. People forget Shawn's only a Junior in high school. I think she handles all the attention really well. It is constant.

Scattershot thoughts: Hayden Fry, Andy Fales is a god, and Meeting Alex Gordon.

• Nice to see what a forward-thinking pioneer Hayden Fry was. HBO's excellent documentary, "Breaking the Huddle", shows interviews with Fry on his highly controversial decision to recruit an African-American football player at SMU. Jerry LeVias proved Fry's faith right in every way, but LeVias remains bitter and angry about the racism he faced on the football field.
• Fascinating to learn in that documentary that Bear Bryant wanted to integrate Alabama's football team long before most would accept it. Bryant eventually scheduled USC, with several black stars, to play in Tuscaloosa. The Bear knew what he was doing. USC routed the Crimson Tide in their own backyard, and black players soon arrived at Alabama.
• Any baseball writers who didn't vote Rickey Henderson into the Hall of Fame should lose their privilege. There are always a few voters who think they're bigger than the game. Imagine the knuckleheads who didn't vote for Hank Aaron or Stan Musial---to name two.
• Good to see the "Andy Fales is a god" Facebook group has tripled its membership since a mention on SoundOff. Andy is embarrassed by the attention, and I suppose being called a god would make anyone this side of Rickey Henderson a little apprehensive. Meantime, the Facebook group, "Keith Murphy brushes his teeth daily" remains at only one member. (Thank you, Mom.)
• Anyone else suspect that at least a few companies are laying people off because they know they can get rid of people they want to right now without taking a PR hit?
• Carl Weathers just turned 61! How can Apollo Creed be in his 60's? "That was cool".
• Jenny and I went shopping for Cade's 8th birthday at the Jordan Creek Mall (sorry, "Town Center") during a blizzard Monday. Except for the life-endangering drive, I highly recommend it. It was empty. We walked into Scheel's and 27 different employees offered us help.
• Now that I have a reliable DVR, and HD, I'm attempting to watch "24" on a weekly basis. Not sure I can do it. I've watched all the previous seasons the way they were intended: late at night when the kids are in bed during one sleepless week. It's better that way.
• "Friday Night Lights" returns! Can't wait. Ratings show at least 1,000 other Americans feel the same way.
• I'm back watching "American Idol". My wife isn't interested until they get through the painful audition phase. It does get repetitive, but it's fascinating to see so many people who think they can sing, who absolutely cannot. We all know people like that. Some of our friends even take the mike on Karaoke night and go Celine Dion or George Michael on us. They just don't hear what we hear.
• Isn't it amazing the way music can jolt you to a time and place faster than anything. I was getting out of the shower this morning listening to 95KGGO and the Cars "Just What I Needed" came on. Suddenly I was back in 8th grade wondering if any girl would ever kiss me while I had braces. If you're out there Kristi Brandt, thank you!
• I'm on a roll for seeing good movies. I took Andy to see "Frost/Nixon" for Andy's 38th birthday. It's a great movie. Michael Sheen is perfect as David Frost, and Frank Langella transforms into Richard Nixon. Props to Ron Howard for making a riveting movie about a television interview. A
• We took the kids to see "Marley & Me", though I learned it's really not a movie for young children. It's rated PG but most of the story is about the adults' relationship. It's the kind of movie where the actors never age and their hairstyles stay the same over a 15 year period. I liked it more than I expected, but Jenny (Murphy, not Aniston) is still upset. She loves dogs and cried her face off. To quote Jenny upon exiting, "I thought we were seeing Air Bud, not Old Yeller". The kids instantly forgot the movie. They weren't engaged. B
• One more: "Gran Torino". If you love Clint Eastwood, as I do, it's a must see. I found it highly entertaining, though Eastwood's decision to use non-actors in some key roles threatens to make the movie feel like a high school play at times. It's Eastwood's show, and he's at his cranky, intimidating best. Erin Kiernan also saw Gran Torino and Erin said, "I feel like I already saw the movie when I watched the preview." Excellent observation. You know what you're getting going in (except the ending). My dad will love this, though unfortunately he'll struggle to hear Clint's grunting dialogue. B+
• When you're a little boy (or girl) who loves sports, sometimes you pick out a favorite baseball player for reasons you can't explain. For me, it was Johnny Bench. I was in awe of the Reds' catcher. I only answered to "Johnny Bench" for an entire summer, and my parents still kept me around. My son Cade met his favorite player at the Jordan Creek Hy-Vee Thursday. The Royals Caravan came through town, and Cade's mom took him to meet Alex Gordon. Now when I met Bench at spring training, I couldn't speak, smile, or blink. It appears Cade has more composure than his old man.
  

• This is a Podolak free post. If you're interested, my thoughts on Ed can be found below.

As always, thank you for your time.
Keith

Ed Podolak: Life of the Hawkeye Party.

The University of Iowa has a PR nightmare on its hands. Hawkeye fans love Ed Podolak, and they feel Ed was forced into retirement. Truth is he wasn't forced, he chose walking away over Iowa's conditions. One of those conditions, I'm told, was alcohol counseling. Ed felt insulted and never really considered treatment or classes. Fact is Eddie loves being Eddie, and he's not willing to change. Many fans don't want him to.

Let's be real here. The recent pictures of Podolak partying in Tampa may have been the final straw, but the University has been concerned about Ed's drinking for a long time---at least as far back as his arrest for public intox. Any Hawkeye fan who attends Iowa football social events has seen Podolak tipsy on many occasions---and many loved him that way. Ed was the life of the Hawkeye party, surrounded by enablers. He loved partying with people, and people loved partying with Ed. Bad combination for relative sobriety.

It's a new era. The Internet era. The PC era. The hypocrisy era. The University of Iowa has been through two years of embarrassing arrests, most alcohol related, in its football program. Podolak doesn't work for Iowa, but he does represent the University. The U wants to clean up its binge-drinking image. Podolak doesn't fit those plans.

Like many people, I see those pictures, and I see a guy celebrating an Iowa bowl trip in a bar. He looks like he's had too many drinks, but most of us have been that person. Podolak told the Des Moines Register he was embarrassed by the photos. A 61 year old man looking down the blouse of a young woman who doesn't seem to mind isn't flattering, but I've been around enough partying people in environments like that to guess that Ed was being asked to pose, and as always, he was accommodating. It's bad judgement, but as far as we can tell from the pictures, nothing illegal happened and no one was hurt.

I digress. Ed Podolak didn't retire solely due to that night. It was his body of out of the booth work over the years. I think many people feel bad because Ed was just being the guy they wanted him to be. Iowa football is, for many, an excuse to party. Tailgating, Hawkeye Huddles, bowl trips---it's one big party. Think of all Iowa football activities with no alcohol. Really think. What do you think happens to attendance? Donations? Passion? That's the rub, alcohol fuels the engine, and in many ways, pays for it (beer sponsors Iowa football). Ed Podolak is the poster boy for all that partying. 'He overdid it. And it won't be the same without him.

I know Ed enough to know he loves his life. One of his close friends tell me he's not ready to change his hard-drinking ways. Perhaps he needs to, I'm not really qualified to say. On one hand, I've seen him stumbling around drunk in public many times, on the other, I've never seen him hurt anyone. I do know this: If Ed needs to drink less, he should retire, because everywhere he went in Iowa, people handed him drinks from the moment he walked in the door. Surrounded by enablers, including the U of I.

It's better reading when the writer firmly takes a side, but I get both points of view on this one. I see why Iowa felt it was time for Podolak to stop drinking. I also see why Ed said see ya.

The Hawkeyes just lost a great radio analyst, and a hall of fame partyier. Fans will miss both.

Ferentz entrenched, The Manzier, and why Slumdog is worth a million.

• Kirk Ferentz isn't going anywhere. Hard to believe it was less than three months ago when many Hawkeye fans wanted Kirk gone. It's helped that Iowa football players have stayed out of trouble, but who are we kidding, it's all about winning. Team wins, fans love the coach. Hard to imagine Iowa could find a better fit than Ferentz. Ten years at one school is going the way of the affordable season ticket.
• Passionate Big Ten fans, like my friend Hunkahawk, can try all they want to spin this bowl season, but the scoreboard doesn't lie: 1 win, 6 losses. The conference should send a thank you note to Iowa's football team (and one to South Carolina's). I think the Big 12 is a tad overrated too. Plenty of O, not much D.
• I watched the Outback Bowl again. Iowa would have beaten a lot of good teams on New Year's day, but the Hawks didn't have to. On second viewing, South Carolina is worse than I realized. Steve Spurrier looks completely frustrated by losing, and his players look like they don't want to play for him---or themselves. That team was a dysfunctional mess. I worked in Gainesville when Spurrier arrived to coach Florida. My guess is he doesn't want to work as hard as he needs to. The man lives on the golf course. SC doesn't pull the recruits Florida does. I don't see it getting much better in Columbia.
• I applaud Boston College Athletic Director Gene DeFilippo for taking a hard line stance against the wandering eye of head football coach Jeff Jagodzinski. DeFilippo hired Jagodzinski with the understanding he'd be there for the long haul (sound familiar?). When DeFilippo learned Jagodzinski wanted to interview for the Jets job, just two years into his five year deal, and without asking permission first, DeFilippo hold him, "Do it, and you're fired." Jagodzinski called his bluff (what he thought was his bluff), and DeFilippo fired him. Good. I'm sick of these coaches signing long term deals and then leaving whenever they feel like it---without penalty. The student-athletes can't do that, even if the coach leaves a trail of broken promises in his wake. However, if the school fires a coach, they still owe him millions. It's been a one way street for too long. Time to bring it back to some common sense. As soon as I heard Gene Chizik interviewed at Auburn, I said, and believed, Jamie Pollard should tell Chizik, "Hope for your sake Auburn hires you because you have no job to come back to here." It's ridiculous. Bravo Mr. DeFilippo.
• Paul Rhoads is an unproven head coach, which makes him a somewhat risky hire. Rhoads is also a defensive coordinator by trade, so hiring an offensive coordinator was his first big test. He aced it. Tom Herman wore out the scoreboard at Rice, and proved he could do more with less---absolutely essential for success in Ames. Rhoads is quietly putting together an impressive staff.
• Jon Miller knows his stuff. I kept track this season. When it comes to the Hawks, the guy knows what's going to happen 90% of the time.
• Not sure which moment from SoundOff is more burned in my brain: Cy handing his cell phone to Andy and asking him to take a picture of Cy and Jon Miller, or the guy from the RV walking into the studio wearing that Manzier... Who am I kidding---it's Manzier.
• Utah just blew up the fraud of a national championship known as the BCS title game. The Utes are 13-0 and beat six bowl teams including Alabama (easily). How is Utah not the champ?
• Most exciting basketball game this week was UNI winning at Creighton. Didn't see that coming. Panthers looked great. Dana Altman looked as uncomfortable as he did doing that Arkansas Pig Soooieee chant.
• Cowboys cut Pacman Jones. See the Scorpion and the Frog.
• Jenny and I were planning to see "Marley and Me" Saturday night. Erin and Mike Kiernan invited us to "Slumdog Millionaire". Score one for Team Kiernan. Slumdog Millionaire is the best movie I saw this year. I had to drag Jenny---she didn't think it sounded like anything she'd like---and she loved it. It's stunningly original and will make you feel all the emotions. It's an A . Go see it. You'll be glad you did. And let me know what you think (like I have to add that).
• Gran Torino's next on my must see list. "GET OFF MY LAWN."

Time to clean out my cluttered 2008 closet of entertainment highs and lows. Off the top of my head:

• My favorite movies this year: Slumdog Millionaire, Role Models, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Iron Man, Dark Knight, Quantum of Solace, and Step Brothers.
• Great movies I wouldn't watch again anytime soon (too depressing): Changeling, In the Valley of Elah.
• Movies I found disappointing: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (title should have been a hint), Cloverfield (nearly puked, and it sucked), Speed Racer, Walk Hard, and Hancock (second half).
• Best acting I saw all year: Heath Ledger/Batman, Cate Blanchett/Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Gene Chizik/Firmly Entrenched in Ames.
• Three songs I couldn't get out of my head, even though I wanted to: I Kissed a Girl, Womanizer, and 5 Dollar Footlong.
• Favorite TV shows: The Mentalist, Life, Entourage, 30 Rock, Saturday Night Live (thank you Tina), House, The Office, Real Sports, Costas Now, Colbert Report, Daily Show, American Idol (sue me. At least I'm honest :-), and reruns of M*A*S*H and Seinfeld.
• Shows I wanted to love, but couldn't: Lost, Heroes, Mad Men (maybe I needed more than one episode).
• Show that went off the crazy cliff: Grey's Anatomy.
• Show that almost made me get DirecTV, but I'm glad I waited for NBC return: Friday Night Lights.
• TV show I haven't seen that 10 people have told me I must see: The Wire
• Best mini-series I saw this year: John Adams (if you don't count my fourth viewing of Band of Brothers).
• My favorite TV moment of the year: Andy Fales' return on SoundOff.
• Most heartbreaking TV moment: Lolo Jones kneeling on the Beijing track in disbelief, tears in her eyes. (Western Kentucky's lucky 3 finishes second.)
• Inappropriate song my kids love that sounds like songs I loved when I was a kid: All Summer Long by Kid Rock.
• Most confusing song to my 4 year old, Colin: I Kissed a Girl (sung by a girl!)
• Favorite three albums of the year: Viva La Vida by Coldplay, Accelerate by REM, Magic by Bruce Springsteen.
• Favorite book of 2008: Why We Suck by Denis Leary.
• Favorite year of all time: 2008. Go figure.

All the best in 2009,

Keith

Hawkeyes party like it's 2009.

It's too bad the football season has to end for Iowa. The Hawkeyes peaked at the perfect time. This is a team in need of a playoff. They're not ready for Florida, Oklahoma or USC, but I believe Iowa, on any given Saturday, can beat anyone outside the top ten right now.

Which is more true of the Outback Bowl: Iowa looked great or South Carolina looked awful?Seriously, that's the worst bowl team this side of Minnesota. The Gamecocks were a mess from start to finish. Steve Spurrier earned his "genius" label at Florida, but it's always easier when you have blue chip recruits. Just ask Gene Chizik.

Shonn Greene had nothing to prove and nothing to gain by staying at Iowa. It's a shame we only got to see him for one full season, but he'll be 24 in August, that's 34 in running back years. Iowa fans should thank Shonn for the memories and wish him well. Anyone who lugged furniture so he could lug the football deserves a break.

Kirk Ferentz told us he hasn't talked to the Browns, and he's thrilled to be at Iowa. I believe that statement is true. There would be no reason the Browns would contact Kirk yet. However, Cleveland is trying to give full control to Ferentz's close friend, Scott Pioli. The Boston Herald reports Pioli would then do all he can to hire Ferentz as head coach. If Pioli accepts the job, and all that's true, we still don't know what Kirk would do. He loves having a stable family life in Iowa City. He appreciates the job security he won't find in the NFL. However, if ever there were a time, this might be it. There's euphoria in Hawkeye Nation today, but it was a rough 2008 for Ferentz. More players arrested, an internal review Ferentz didn't appreciate (and which cleared him of any wrongdoing), and unprecedented criticism from fans.

I still expect him back on the Iowa sideline. Until he's not.

It's no wonder Iowa hops over other Big Ten schools for better bowls. Did you see that crowd in Florida? Hawkeye fans caused traffic jams at the beach, fire code violations in bars, and a near home field advantage at the stadium.

It was hard not to be jealous. Perfect weather, and the fans looked like they were having a blast. Andy and I covered the past couple bowls in Florida. Shawn Terrell and Chris Hassel earned this trip, and I'm proud of the job they did. It's more work than people imagine, but no one complains when it's 75 and sunny.

Shawn and Chris traveled on the Hawkeye Nation charter with Jon Miller and company. It's a great way to go. We appreciate Jon saving a couple of seats for us on the sold out plane.

Cyclone fans keep asking why we're not making a bigger deal out of Cy winning the Cap One Bowl's "most dominant Mascot on Earth". I think they're serious.

Okay, here goes: congratulations Cyclone fans for spending more time online voting for your mascot than any other fans in America.

Something more inspiring: great job out of Iowa State's Greg Geoffroy, Jamie Pollard, Greg McDermott, Bill Fennelly and Paul Rhoads for giving up a week's pay to help with the budget crisis. Leadership starts at the top, especially when the top makes the most money. (update: Heather in Clive, who I know to be a die hard Cyclone fan disagrees, and emailed the following:
It's symbolic, not substantive. I suppose that's o.k., but issuing a news release negates the gesture, IMHO. Interesting point. What do you think?)

Happy New Year!
Keith

Scattershot thoughts over the Christmas break.

• The NFL rules for a reason. Week 17 rocked, with an early playoff feel.
• I like Tony Romo, but it's hard not to question if he can win a big game.
• I like Wade Phillips too, but something has to change in Dallas. How can a team with that much talent miss the playoffs? Maybe the Yankees have the answer.
• Nice choke job by the Bears.
• Congrats to long-suffering Vikings fans. The Super Bowl title drought won't end this year either, but the Bears, Packers, and Lions wish they had a division title.
• Time for Brett Favre to retire. For real this time.
• The Dolphins just proved even the Chiefs have hope next year. (Though it's hard to imagine right now.)
• Cutler vs. Rivers should go steel cage.
• My NFL MVP is Peyton Manning. Andy likes Matt Ryan.
• Can't wait to see Springsteen at the Super Bowl.
• The feedback for this blog is often more entertaining than the blog itself.
• Mediacom just added the History Channel to the HD tier. I didn't care much until I noticed all 10 episodes of "Band of Brothers" back to back this weekend. Television at its absolute best: educational and entertaining, kind of like SoundOff (insert joke bubble over your own head here).
• "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" is unlike anything I've ever seen. If I had to compare it to something it would be "Forrest Gump", though Gump's a better movie. "Button" is nearly three hours long, but never boring. It also makes you think about what's important in life, never a bad thing.
• "Bedtime Stories" is exactly what you'd expect from a PG Adam Sandler movie. And I'm okay with that. Kids loved, I liked.
• Cyclone fans need to be as patient as possible with Greg McDermott. He has everything you'd want in a coach, including the desire to stay in Ames. I don't understand why Iowa State looks so bad at times, but Cyclone fans would be wise to give Mac more time to figure it out. More talent wouldn't hurt either, and it's on the way.
• It's a chicken or the egg question, but Hawkeye fans are making Steve Alford look right about one thing: Iowa's a football school. The Hawks show promise, and the stands remain half empty. Alford hangover or Lickliter system?
• Iowa should win the Outback Bowl, but fans seem way too overconfident to me. Iowa looked good in the Big Ten, but Wisconsin did the conference no favors in bowl game 1. South Carolina looked bad at times in the SEC, but it's the SEC. It's also Spurrier.
• How tragic is it that five former Cyclone football players died within the past five years, all of them way before their times? A sad coincidence that's shaking up the Cyclone Nation.
• It appears Drake's basketball team won't have the magic carpet ride it had last season, but how could it?
• Our family spent a day at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom right before Christmas. Even after all these years, the place still casts a spell on kids like no other. We had a blast. I worked there in high school, and as I dropped fries in the fryer, I'd think how just a few yards away people were having the times of their lives.
• I remember as a kid receiving the video game "Pong". I wouldn't have dreamed of a world with XBox 360 in it. Kids now probably can't believe we were thrilled to have a paddle hit a ball against a wall for hours.
• As I surveyed the aftermath of Christmas morning in our house, one thought hit me: what recession? It's hard not to spoil your kids.
• A big group of us went out to celebrate the holidays. Mike Kiernan can't sit still long, so under his direction, we went to Cafe Di Scala, Carl's, Bistro Piano Bar, and the Underground. I think as a City Councilman at large, he feels he needs to show off as much of Des Moines as possible. I'm glad he did.

(Editor's update: Michael Kiernan's attorney informs us that it was Shawn Terrell who demanded all of the location changes as part of Mr. Terrell's never ending quest to meet Mrs. Terrell. Murphy's Law regrets the error.)

(Editor's update #2: Shawn Terrell's publicist would like to point out that Mr. Terrell only requested one venue change Saturday evening, because shawn knew the Grand Piano Bistro would provide "peppier" live music than was being played at the Underground.

Mr. Terrell's publicist would also like to point out that it was Shawn's friends who were looking to find Mrs. Terrell, not Shawn. Mr. Terrell was perfectly happy chewing, drinking, and screaming for more Pearl Jam at a piano bar.

Murphy's Law regrets this latest error.)

Dateline Daytona Beach: Murph sounds off on Rhoads hire.

I normally sleep with one of those Sharper Image clock radios---the kind where you can press one of several sound options: tropical rain forest, thunder storm, ocean waves, first day of kindergarten, midnight carjacking, light rain, or New Age music. I go with light rain, but right now our family is staying right on the beach, so Friday night I left the sliding glass door open, and went with actual ocean.

I'm not sure if that's the reason I didn't hear the phone ring around 7:30 a.m. Or 8. But I did hear it at 8:30. Iowa State hired Auburn defensive coordinator Paul Rhoads. (Auburn?! )

It's not the home run hire many fans hoped (Gary Patterson), but it's not the bad idea many feared (Mike Stoops? Wrong Stoops. If you can't win big at Arizona, good luck at Iowa State).

Rhoads is not a "sexy" hire, but he's a solid, safe one. The one big negative, and it's a real concern, is the lack of head coaching experience. There's just no way to know except witness the trial by fire and hope for the best. Not all good coordinators and assistants make good head coaches.

Most everything else fits nicely.

Rhoads is an Ankeny native. He wants to be at Iowa State. Unlike Gene Chizik, Rhoads won't use ISU to get what he really wants (well, being a head coach is what he really wants, so the previous sentence is a bit of an oxymoron, but you get my point. He won't use ISU to get what he wants somewhere else). He's invested enough to care what happens to the Cyclone football program after he leaves it. Rhoads' reputation and character suggest he'll keep promises. (Winning back the trust of the burned is never easy, but it can be done. Even Jennifer Aniston seems happy these days.)

Rhoads was an assistant on McCarney's first staff at Iowa State. This is more important than you might think at first blush. It will heal the division in the Cyclone football program. There are hundreds of former Dan McCarney players living in Central Iowa. Since Mac was forced out, most have supported Iowa State football, but not Jamie Pollard. Those players will be firmly behind this hire, and therefore Pollard. For the first time since Mac left, there will be no backroom sniping.

Rhoads is only 41. He's a proven defensive coordinator, and unlike Chizik, he's done it at a place without 5-star athletes at every position (Pitt). Rhoads also specializes in pass defense, which you may have noticed, comes in handy these days in the Big 12. The man Rhoads hires as offensive coordinator is his most important decision.

I don't know if Rhoads will lead Iowa State to championships. Odds are he won't, it's one of the harder jobs in college football, but I do believe he'll immediately return Cyclone football to tolerable viewing, and eventually you'll see Iowa State back in minor bowls. Who knows, if he hires the right staff (not his under-qualified buddies), the Cyclones just may get to that previously unattainable "next level". There's no way of knowing. No head coaching track record to even take an educated guess.

Rhoads first task will be to re-recruit the current players. He'll get it done. Rhoads is a charismatic recruiter to begin with, but those Cyclones don't want to leave, especially when the reality of sitting out a year sinks in. One or two may stray, but the rest will come to realize it's more important to embrace the school and its people than the head coach. The school will always be there, the head coach could start yelling "War Eagle!" at any time.

Those of us who choose to live in Iowa love this place. We even find ways to love the things we hate---like the weather, state fair, and SoundOff. We don't like being used. Rhoads won't have one eye on the door. Iowa is home.

Jamie Pollard tried "sexy". It was a disaster. Time to get back to someone who will roll the sleeves up and go to work. Paul Rhoads will do that. He won't sell tickets on sizzle, so he'll need to look a lot better in his first two years than Chizik did in his. That won't be hard.

If I know Cyclone fans, and I think I do, they're already talking up the positives and downplaying the negatives. Good for them.

Paul Rhoads deserves a chance.

Gene Chizik leaves skid marks on Iowa.

We've seen coaches come and go, but rarely has an exit caused an uproar like Gene Chizik's. There are several reasons, but none more compelling than a story as old as time. To paraphrase Dennis Green, he's not who we thought he was.

Chizik played high and mighty during his two years in Ames. He constantly talked values, commitment, and integrity. He had bibles on his desk. He insisted on a team Chaplain. Chizik looked a lot of young men right in the eyes and promised them that together they'd build something special at Iowa State. He asked their mothers and fathers to trust him. He urged fans to believe in the journey, and open their wallets along the way. Then he left broken hearts all over Iowa State University, and skid marks on Ames. Raise your hand if you don't think Chizik actually told people he regretted taking the job?

Chizik did nothing to me. He was the kind of guy you could interview 50 times and feel like you didn't know him at all. Not the real him. In that way, he reminded me of Steve Alford. Alford could forget he met you, 10 minutes after meeting you. Unfortunately, Chizik's players learned first hand just how cold blooded he is. He reportedly spent about two minutes explaining his decision to not see anything through. He talked for more than 30 minutes at his Auburn news conference and never once thanked Iowa State or Jamie Pollard for the opportunity. No apologies either. What would Jesus do? Not that.

Anyone should understand a man taking a better job for more money. Keno Davis did it. And he did it after just one year. But there are many differences. Keno actually accomplished something before leaving. Something like championships. He never held a news conference to delcare his love of Iowa. Or to say he was "firmly entrenched". He just said he was happy and had no plans to leave. Near as I can tell, both were true. Keno also wasn't the face and future of the program.

Jamie Pollard put it all on Chizik. And Chizik knew that. Heck, he took advantage of it. Overpaying assistant coaches, insisting the uniforms, school colors, and logo be changed, taking the names off the back of the uniforms... If Chizik wanted it, he got it. The payoff was promised as championships.

Iowa State was never near a championship. It was only two years, but I saw next to nothing promising greatness. Not all coordinators make good head coaches. Much has been made of Chizik's undefeated teams at Texas and Auburn, but with the athletes those schools attract, winning sure didn't leave when Gene did.

Now that Chizik's gone, it's easy to pile on with criticism we didn't hear before. Some of that makes sense. We learned more about Chizik the man. However, many of us were unimpressed with Chizik the coach. The Cyclones were undisciplined, the sideline chaotic, and Iowa State found ways to lose games it should have won. It would have gotten better, but Chizik realized he was in over his head long before Auburn threw him a lifeline. Someone in the Iowa State athletic department told me two years ago he knew Chizik had no idea what he was getting into there when he talked about winning a national championship at Texas with only two elite players, the rest were role players. Yeah, right. 5-star role players.

Chizik was hired to take Iowa State to the next level, but like Alford at Iowa, that level was down, not up. Chizik recruited a lot of promising talent to Ames, and most of those players will end up staying. They won't want to sit out a year. When you're 19, a year seems like forever.

The irony here is Pollard gets a "do-over". Why he offered Chizik a two year contract extension is beyond my comprehension, but Jamie thought Gene was on his way to big things. I didn't see it.

Cyclone fans should pop corks. Pollard too. Chizik was a phony and never a good fit. He didn't want to be in Iowa, couldn't wait to leave, and now finds himself surrounded by a posse of angry Auburn fans.

Some of the above explains part of our fascination with this story. The rest comes down to one much simpler thought:

Can you believe Auburn hired a guy riding a 10 game losing streak?

They can have him.

Chizik quits Iowa State

I still can't believe it. Auburn University, one of the premier football programs in America, just hired a football coach riding a 10-game losing streak.

Anyone can understand why Gene Chizik took a better job for more money, but that doesn't make it right. Chizik broke a lot of promises when he left Ames after just two years to pursue his "dream job" .

I've given my opinion---see "I Think" in the video player---now I want to hear yours. What do you think? Time to sound off with feedback.

Thank you.
Keith

Back from paradise, Hawks Headed to Tampa, Facebook holdout.

• Just back from a great vacation with great friends---and Andy. My wife and I are fortunate that we can take a trip each year without the kids. We take the children to Jellystone and Disney and Clear Lake, which we enjoy, but friends and family members tell me to always find time for just us. It's good advice, and we know we're blessed to have both the support and means to pull it off.


• This year we went to an all-inclusive in Playa Del Carmen, which I learned is in Mexico. It was breathtakingly beautiful, sunny all the time (well, in the day), and hot, which is nice. All-inclusive means all your food and drinks are part of the deal. For the most part, this is good. You're not working, or driving, or doing crossword puzzles, so it's a good time for letting yourself go a little. However, it's easy for a little to become a lot.


• You know that feeling you have when you paid $9.95 for the buffet---you better eat your money's worth---it's like that, only worse. "I'm on vacation and the desert's free! I better try all five kinds of cheesecake, and dip 17 different things in the chocolate fountain." The drinking can be even worse. Once you discover you can order any drink, and it feels free, it's time to play hangover chemist. I ate like Charlie Weiss and drank like Charlie Sheen. I put on 7 pounds in five days. That's not easy.


• The trip back is never easy. First of all, all the security checks and bodily probes make it feel like the terrorists won at least one thing: making travel a nightmare. Then there's the sheer shock of going from 85 degrees to 11 degrees. Somehow in a period of less than a week, you forget just how COLD it gets here. It hits you like Bob Sanders.


• It's good to be back. That's the best part of vacation, realizing as you return, you're glad to be home. Can't wait to do it again.


• Tim Tebow seems too good to be true. He also loves to talk about his faith. It's no surprise Tebow attracts the haters, but I think he's real. Plus, Bigfoot took pictures of Tim Tebow. And Tebow can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.


• Stephon Marbury just made it easier for the haters. While people are being laid off left and right, Marbury won't play basketball despite making $21 million this season.


• Speaking of layoffs... I'm stunned the Des Moines Register dumped Duffy. I thought he was untouchable, but clearly these days, no one is.


• It's good to see Lucca Staiger having so much fun playing basketball. The guy showed a lot of patience and loyalty.


• Where are the Panther football fans? Fewer than 10,000 for a national quarterfinal?Maybe it's another sign of the recession. You won't see that out of Hawkeye fans though. They'll sell a car and cash in a 401k before missing the Outback Bowl.


• Props to our man, Jon Miller, for calling the Outback a month ago. Jon's chartering a trip too. We'll be on that trip. It's the way to go. Hundreds already signed up but they're still adding more at http://www.hawkeyenation.com/


• Nearly 16,000 fans for the Iowa - Iowa State wrestling showdown. Now if we could just get someone to notice outside Iowa. ESPN had that match somewhere below Boston Middle School Dodge Ball championship.


• Good to see OJ looking so miserable. No joke. It was good to see.


• The Cavaliers pay Lebron James hundreds of thousands of dollars every game. Is it too much to ask that James not act like he's already in New York?


• Looking forward to Jim Carrey's new movie, "Yes". I loved it the first time when it was called "Liar Liar".


• You were right. "Hancock" is fun and promising for 45 minutes and then takes a turn so wrong you'd think Hassel was driving.


• Am I the only Facebook holdout? Seriously, it's taking over the lives of my friends, family, and co-workers. Even people who vowed to never give in, I won't mention names (Shawn Terrell), have now given in. I continue to fight the good fight.

Remembering Stevie, Greene for Heisman, and no longer laughing at Metrodome scoring.

• I was in Old Navy Friday, wondering how it's possible with 10,000 pair of jeans on sale for $15, that not one would be a 32x32, when my cell phone rang around 5 p.m. It was Shawn Terrell to tell me Stevie Hicks was dead. I didn't know Stevie well, interviewed him a few times, but like many of you, Hicks' death hit me hard. It's been on my mind all weekend. I think it's one of those things where you just can't get your mind around a guy who looked that strong and healthy being dead and gone forever. One of Stevie's friends told me he was really struggling to find happiness and peace of mind. It's a stark reminder to us all that these guys aren't superheroes or robots. They're real people with real feelings. Rest in peace, Stevie Hicks.
• No good segue from something so sad. I wasn't surprised Dan McCarney immediately released a statement on Hicks. Not everyone thinks McCarney was a good head coach, but no one questions how much he cared about his players. It was good to see Dan on the Florida sideline Saturday, surrounded by blue chip players and all-americans. I'm sure he wonders what he could have done with talent like that in Ames.
• Tim Tebow is a stud. The guy once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. I don't know what kind of pro Tebow will make, but he is a great college football player, and by all accounts, an even better person.
• Look for Tebow to place higher at this year's Heisman ceremony than some expect. The Heisman almost always breaks down by regional bias, which makes sense. The more you've seen someone play, the more likely you are to vote for that person. The Big 12 players will all split votes. Bradford or McCoy? Harrell or Crabtree? What about Daniel? Will he get a vote or two? Meantime, Tebow has the south pretty much to himself.
• I'm waiting until the last minute to vote. Right now, my vote looks like this: 1) Colt McCoy 2) Tebow 3) Shonn Greene. Sam Bradford is the favorite in Las Vegas, but I don't think for a minute he's the "most outstanding college football player in the United States". Bradford might be the MVP, but that's not what the Heisman ballot says. A lot of voters learned this the hard way when they voted for OU's Jason White. Look at the candidates, and put them on a bad football team. Would Bradford be a Heisman candidate quarterbacking Iowa State? No way. However, I'll bet Austen Arnaud could put up some sick numbers at Oklahoma (not Bradford's, but still good ones.) Would Shonn Greene be a candidate running the football at Iowa State? Possibly. You could put Greene on Oklahoma or Texas, and he'd likely be even better (though he might not run the football as much).
• I think Texas got hosed by the BCS. There's no good way to decide this mess that continues in D1 college football, but head-to-head should come first in the tiebreaker, and Texas beat Oklahoma on a neutral field. Then again, Tech beat Texas...
• I laughed too when I first heard about the Metrodome sexcapade, but the embarrassed kids and humiliated husband have robbed me of any enjoyment. That, and the fact Iowa punked Minnesota 55-0, and Minnesotans are laughing at us anyway.
• Gene Chizik firing two coaches (Tony Petersen & Shawn Raney) and demoting two others (Robert McFarland & Wayne Bolt) shows Chizik can make tough calls. It's not easy firing friends. It also shows Chizik realizes just how desperate it's become in Ames. Iowa State needs to get much better sooner, not later. Chizik has already begun the search for two new coordinators.
• The first 30 minutes of "Role Models" is crudely hilarious. Jenny and I fell out of our seats. It doesn't keep the laughs coming at the starting pace, but a surprisingly sweet story mostly makes up for it. A-
• Also enjoyed "Bolt" with the little boys, though the 3D added nothing except $6 to our bill. B+
• Chris Hassel and Shawn Terrell sit in for Jon Miller Monday through Wednesday this week on KXNO from 2 to 4 p.m. That should be fun. Shawn will try to keep Hassel from going off the tracks, though Hassel unhinged might make even better radio.
• Props to Jon for predicting Outback Bowl from the jump. It's not a done deal yet, but Jon looks smarter each day.
• It was not an encouraging weekend for college basketball in Iowa. Many of our men's (Iowa, Drake, UNI) and women's teams (Iowa, ISU) finally played good teams, and all were blown out.
• I need to go do SoundOff, and as I do, I realize something else to add to my Thanksgiving list of "Things I'm Thanks for": hosting this show with Andy Fales each week. At this time a year ago, I thought those days were done, and that perspective makes me appreciate the partnership even more.
• I spent most of the long weekend on the couch watching TV and movies with the family. This isn't good news for the President's Council on Physical Fitness, but it was glorious for me.
• You know you have a good friend when she'll housesit, dogsit, and turtlesit. Thanks Heather!

Thanksgiving with a frog, scorpion, and jig saw.

• I have so much to be thankful for this year. At the top of the list is my wonderful wife and best friend, Jenny, and the six kids we have the privilege of sharing our lives with. I could go on, and often do, but I'll leave it there.


• I promise not to turn this into another "things I'm thankful for". I've already ended one sentence with a preposition, and I know the grammar police are out there and ready to pounce. I will add a quick "thanks" to all of you who stop by here to read these ramblings. I'm always surprised at the numbers, and appreciate your kindness (and criticisms, though not as much).


• My one-of-a-kind parents were here for an early Thanksgiving. They left Tuesday to go back to Florida. Jenny and I dropped them at the airport at 9:15 a.m. and received a call from my mom a half hour later at 9:45. Could we come back? I thought their flight had been canceled, but it turns out my dad tried to carry on a jig saw and a belt sander. Where do I start. I'm not sure which is more ridiculous, that in 2008 my father thought he could get through airport security with Bob the Builder's tool kit, or that security thought my dad would be a threat to pull out the jig saw, insert the blade, find an outlet, and threaten to hijack the plane. Or maybe they feared he'd threaten to sand someone's arm until he had an unbearable burn. He could have checked his bag, sander and all, but no way my mom's paying $30 for something that was once free.


• My favorite Thanksgiving food is either the jello salad with marshmallows so many people don't like, or cranberry sauce. But I prefer the cranberry sauce right out of the can, where you can still see the ridges as it sits in the bowl. For some reason, that's better than homemade to me.


• The Lions are going to go 0-16. I know they can do it. My father and I went to a number of Bucs games the year they went 0-14 in those Pirates of Penzance uniforms. I loved every minute of it. We saw OJ Simpson play, and he was scary good. He later became just scary. Funny the things you remember about being a kid, but I recall my dad making the best sub sandwiches for our tailgating. He called them hoagies. He'd cut them with a jig saw.


• Shawn Terrell says I need to stop repeating myself when it comes to Gene Chizik. Shawn says he's heard the following over-and-over: 1) Chizik didn't understand what he was getting into. 2) He deserves more time. Shawn's right, and I don't have much else to add.


• Shawn also says he's sick of the picture of the Cubs fans in tears that appears over my should during sportscasts. Shawn says he feels it could be him. Exactly. That one continues.


• When Indiana hired Kelvin Sampson, I used this forum to remind the Hoosiers of the Scorpion and the Frog. Scorpion asks the frog for a ride across the pond, frog worries that the scorpion will kill him, scorpion says he won't do that "because we'd both drown". Frog agrees to the ride, halfway across he feels a sting in his back, and says "why did you do that? Now we'll both die!" Scorpion says, "I could not help myself, it's my nature." Indiana, you're the frog. Sampson's the scorpion. How did that feel?


• A few weeks ago, I mentioned I was hearing Bill Snyder wanted back in at Kansas State. I took a little heat for that, but the source was correct. It explains why Ron Prince didn't even get three years. Snyder wanted his old job back, and K-State fans have forgotten Snyder was under .500 his final two seasons.


• Joe Frazier stopped by the SoundOff studio last week, on his way to Prairie Meadows, and he couldn't have been nicer. Joe's in tough shape these days, but he came to life with fans around him (and by fans, I mean B-Ross). Those three fights with Ali will live forever. And to think, in those days, we watched for free on ABC's Wide World of Sports.


• How much money has Michael Buffer made by yelling, "Let's Get Ready to Rummmmmmmmbllllllllle!" This guy and Vanna White figured it out.


• Las Vegas oddsmakers still don't have Shonn Greene on the Heisman Trophy betting board. Four of the top five are Big 12 quarterbacks; the other is Tim Tebow. This could be interesting. The Big 12 guys will obviously split a lot of regional votes, not to mention the split between Harrell and Crabtree, and a surging Tim Tebow is again a threat to win. He's going to own his region, and could pick up more support elsewhere with a lights out showing against Alabama. I'm holding my vote until the last minute. I think Greene has proven himself the best running back in the country, and he deserves a seat at the ceremony, but with Iowa unranked, and Greene coming from nowhere, it's going to be tough.


• Chris Hassel's parody of Marty Tirrell has earned raves from all over, including Marty himself.


• Thanks to Jon Miller for letting Andy and I sit in in on KXNO a couple times this week. We had a blast, and Andy nearly wet his pants when Chris called in from Vegas as Marty.


• Happy Thanksgiving. And thanks.

Hassel slobberknocked, Stillwater tops Ames, and Fear the Tigerhawk.

• I know, I know... I'm a little slow on the update. I'd have been here sooner but I'm putting the last of my savings under the mattress. Thank you for your patience.
• A lot has happened since we last chatted. Let's review some of it.
• Gene Chizik came out and denounced a rumor he regretted taking the Iowa State job. This was a questionable move on Chizik's part. 99.9% of the people were not even aware of the rumor, but many of them became aware when Chizik brought it up at a news conference. Chizik felt strongly he needed to shoot it down before the rumor became "fact" on the recruiting trail, and in the whispers of big donors, and it does appear he killed the gossip. File this one under: risky but probably worked.
• Did you see Chris Hassel plowed at the Penn State-Iowa game? And by plowed, I mean run over, not drunk. A Penn State football player with the license plate "47" slobberknocked Chris into lala land. Chris was okay. The camera was not. #47 escaped with a one point loss.
• Gary Barta was right to send a note of concern after several arrests and injuries (not counting Chris) , but nothing will change. As long as there are hardcore fans, especially drunk ones, storming the field after a big win will continue.
• How 'bout that video Shawn Terrell shot of the older lady, a Hawk fan, at the Purdue game wearing a sweatshirt that reads, in big letters, "Iowa F---ing City"? I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.
• Went to a party for the Iowa Chops at Skybox Lounge. Hockey players, generally, are among the best professional athletes to cover. They're usually nice, polite, and ready with a joke. Not all are handsome, but as Andy noted, it's always fascinating how many attractive women show up when future millionaires are on the loose and unattached.
• We went from the Chops party to Bucs game. Actually a Bucs game kind of is a party. You can always count on a good time, as long as you're not easily offended and you don't mind the smell of beer. It also helps this season if you don't mind seeing the home team lose. I thought the Bucs would be much better under J.P. Parise, but lately they're just plain bad.
• Saw "Changeling". Another excellent movie from director Clint Eastwood. Like all his films lately, I walked out saying, "That was really gripping, moving, and heartbreaking. I doubt I'll ever watch it again." If you saw "Million Dollar Baby", you know what I mean.
• Also saw "Quantum of Solace". I love Daniel Craig as James Bond. I know some fans of the series miss the playboy at the party shagging girls and tossing one-liners, but Craig is going to get to that place one movie at a time, and this one is all about pissed off vengeance. You feel the violence. It's not your father's bond. If you loved Jason Bourne, you'll love this Bond. The comparison is inevitable. The past two Bourne movies are much like this Bond. Though "Solace" isn't as good as "Casino Royale", it's much shorter and filled with non-stop action. I loved it.


• For you parents out there, or closet animation freaks, "Madagascar 2" is a winner. It passes my test of tolerable for mom & dad. Actually, it's even better than that. The equal of the first one, though not as fresh. Chris Rock, Ben Stiller, and especially Alec Baldwin do great voice work. (If Alec Baldwin's voice was a food, it would be oatmeal.)
• I sat down with Shawn Johnson for a half hour last week. It's hard to believe how much she's grown up, but that's what happens to teenagers. You go a few months without seeing them, and you can't believe the change. Shawn's had a blast on tour, though I think she's tired. I wouldn't be surprised if she sat out another semester at Valley High School, but Shawn tells me she'll definitely return for her Senior year. She said she misses the "drama" of high school life, but found plenty of similar angst on a bus full of teenage girls. I can imagine.
• Occasionally when I look at the iconic Hawkeye logo on the side of an Iowa football helmet, I'm reminded that someone had the ridiculous idea to change that logo to a more fierce Hawk (Hawk on crack, some called it). Rank that one right up there with New Coke and Mutt Lange trading in Shania Twain.


• The Tigerhawk is easily one of the best logos in sports. Instantly identifiable almost anywhere in the United States. Iowa State's Jamie Pollard would be the first to tell you how much that'$ worth.


• Pat Forde with ESPN calls Ames the worst town in the Big 12? No way. I spent a month in Stillwater one weekend. That place is the armpit of the Big 12. I was by myself, doing play-by-play for ESPN+, and made the mistake of going to see "Leaving Las Vegas". When it was over, it was all I could do to keep from drinking myself to death. Instead I went out to Stillwater's finest restaurant. I always enjoy Sonic.
• Why do some people come in and start a conversation as you're typing at work? Isn't it obvious you might actually be in the middle of a thought? Does this happen to anyone else? It happens to me at least once a day. That's why this sentence makes no thank you, I just ordered popcorn from my son's Cub Scout fundraiser.
• I went to the post office in Beaverdale yesterday, and the line was backed WAY up. I tried to figure out why, and then it became apparent. The lady who wants a detailed description of every single price option available to her in North America. Meantime others are burning a hole in the back of her head with their stares, but oblivious, she now wants all the confirmation and insurance options.
• I appreciate all the DVR suggestions. I'm going to try "11th Hour", "Family Guy", "Wire" (with the help of Netflix), "Prison Break" (more Netflix... must start at season 1), and "Real Housewives of Atlanta". You were right, it's strangely watchable, like the conceited person in a bar who can talk about herself for two straight hours.
• "Friday Night Lights" was going to be canceled by low ratings, but NBC worked a deal with DirecTV to keep it on the air. DirecTV has exclusive rights in the fall, and then NBC starts airing those episodes in January. I can't wait. I miss the Taylors.
• Good to see Anthony Edwards back on ER. It was a reminder how good that show used to be. Talk to me Goose.
• Props to UNI head football coach Mark Farley for kicking Johnny Gray and Victor Williams off the team. It could cost UNI a shot at the national championship, but it's good to know Farley will do the right thing. Most coaches don't. They offer excuses why the kids "deserve another chance", when what they mean is "it will be harder to win without them".
• It may not be the most important story, but thanks to the Des Moines Register's Randy Peterson for calling out Iowa on that ridiculous streak of "sold out" football games. When an entire section is nearly empty, as was the case a few times, it's not sold out, and there aren't just "single seats". It's no coincidence the streak ended days after the Register exposed Iowa. Iowa has some of the best football fans in America, no exaggeration or stat- padding necessary.
• If Purdue quarterback Curtis Painter had played the entire game against Iowa, I think the Hawks lose. He marched the Boilers at will.
• Iowa State fans showed up stronger than expected for the final game. It wasn't quite as cold as Ed expected, and more than 40,000 die-hards turned out anyway. Well, for the first half.
• Drake looked like a team with a new basketball coach Saturday night. Give the Dogs another month before pressing the panic button.
• Some people are just funny because they're good story-tellers. In that category, Mike Kiernan. He's funny talking about making instant mac & cheese.
• My wife gave me an iPod nano for our anniversary. I have no idea how to use it, but I don't plan on sleeping until I figure it out. I haven't been this excited since I got Rock Em Sock Em Robots.

Top Model on SoundOff, Tank the Turtle, and "Official" Cheerleader.

• Is it just me, or is the "Saved by Zero" song in every commercial break? I can't get it out of my head. Just typing it put the Fixx on a loop in my noggin. I'll try to switch to "One Thing Leads to Another".


• Actual conversation in the car between my two youngest boys, Colin 4, and Cade 7.

Cade: "What girl sings 'I kissed a girl'"?

Colin: "It's not a girl singing, Cade. It's a BOY!"

Cade: "No it's not Colin. It's a girl."

Colin: "You're wrong, Cade. Why would a girl say she kissed a girl?"

Cade: "I dunno... Dad, why is that girl singing about kissing a girl?"

Dad: "Hey kids, look! An airplane!"

• Grand View University---congrats on the promotion---volleyball player Jaeda Young will join us Sunday night on SoundOff. Jaeda is good up front for the Vikings, and often leads the team in kills, but let's be honest, she's joining us in large part because she was a finalist on "America's Next Top Model". Jaeda is from Parkersburg, so we have a wide range of topics to discuss: tornadoes, volleyball, football, modeling, and Tyra Banks.

• Maybe Hawk fans can prove me wrong, but a Blackout in November seems like a bad idea. You have to hope for a unseasonably warm day, or that everyone owns a black coat. The Greenout for students, in honor of Shonn Greene, is a nice idea, but confusing on the same day as the Blackout.


• The Iowa Chops are holding a fundraiser for The Des Moines Youth Hockey Association Saturday night at Skybox Lounge (formerly Coach's Corner) on 8th Street in West Des Moines. The Chops players and coaches will be there. Admission is $5.


• I've raved about Jethro's BBQ so much, you'd think I had a stake in the place. I don't, and now I have to write about my first bad experience there. This past Saturday, we all went to watch the Cyclones and Hawkeyes. The HDTV's were fine, but the place was FREEZING. I did tell a manager we were all cold, and he said the temp was set real low because all the people would make it feel 85 degrees in no time. No time never arrived. I asked for the fan above us to be turned off, but it never was. On top of that, we had a nice young lady as a server, but she forgot my order once, brought us the wrong thing twice, and didn't notice my empty glass for more than 20 minutes. Our group finally bailed in the 3rd quarter, mostly because mild hypothermia had set it.


• It's often too cold in businesses because the people who set the thermostat are running around while the customers are sitting. I worked at a movie theater for three years and we used to set that sucker around 55 degrees. Maybe this was payback.


• When my dad has one bad experience, he's done with that restaurant. I mean he can go somewhere weekly for 10 years, and one bad night, that's it. Done. I'm not that way, and I've loved Jethro's every other time, so we'll be back. However, they've earned at least one week in the penalty box. So Heather, Jenny, Kahala, Andy and I need some suggestions where to watch Saturday's Cyclone/Hawkeye doubleheader. We'll bring parkas just in case.


• I'm hearing Bill Snyder wants back in at Kansas State. It's a short term solution, but after what the man did there, he'd be welcomed by most.


• Lucca Staiger has shown Iowa State loyalty beyond reason. I hope his faith pays off. The guy can flat out shoot.


• Is there anybody you'd rather have coaching your college football team than Mike Leach? The guy is smart, fun, and knows how to do more with less. What a gutsy call to go for the win. It helps to have a quarterback and receiver that can back up those stones. You make that call at Iowa or Iowa State, Texas stops the play.


• Kyle Orton out a month? Not with that beard. He's tough. He'll be back sooner.


• How does Dick Jacobson have millions to donate every year? I'm proud when we can give $20 to our church.


• Pete Carroll needs to stop whining about the BCS and start beating Oregon State. Besides, the BCS is going nowhere.


• If you appreciate hockey at all, don't miss your chance to see Bobby Ryan play for the Chops. One day soon, you'll be glad you did.


• Is there any doubt Drake's Josh Young is the biggest basketball star in the state of Iowa?


• No matter who you voted for Tuesday, I hope you stayed up late enough to see one of those seminal moments that will live forever. Shortly after 10 p.m., when NBC called the presidential election for Barack Obama, and started cutting to cameras all over the world, the reactions showed the depth of history being made more than any commentator ever could. As a white male, hearing I could one day be whatever I wanted always made sense, so I can't imagine how that long awaited moment felt to millions. Politics aside, it was riveting and moving.


• On my DVR series recordings right now: Law & Order, The Mentalist, The Office, 30 Rock, Saturday Night Live, HBO's Real Sports, Entourage, House, Life, Crusoe, SoundOff (record for my parents), Channel 13 News at 10 (ditto), Clone Wars (kids) and Desperate Housewives of Atlanta (wife, honest!). What am I missing?


• Dropped from series recordings: Grey's Anatomy (too soapy), My Own Worst Enemy (too silly), and Life on Mars (too much time travel).


• My wife just got one of our boys a turtle for his birthday. His name is Tank (the turtle, not the kid). Boys all love him, everybody's happy, then I read the papers from Petco. Tank's life expectancy is 50+ years! Kid goes to college, I'm stuck with Tank, but then I die of old age, and I have to give Tank back to the kid, who now has his own kids.


• The most played video of the week on whotv.com is the chain gang worker at the Dowling game who jumps up and down celebrating a Dowling touchdown. He even hugs players as they exit the field. Dowling's AD says the man in question won't work future games, and that's probably the right call---at least for a while---but I can't rough him up. He's a volunteer who loves his Maroons and he got caught up in the moment. It looks bad, and you can't allow it to happen, but let's find this guy a nice place in the stands. Sports needs that kind of passion, just, as Erin said, "not while wearing stripes".


• I think Valley wins again Friday, but this series needs a Dowling win. It's starting to feel like Iowa-Iowa State in the nineties.


• One more reminder: Where's a great place to watch football on TV with a group? We need Iowa State on one screen and Iowa on the other. HD is a must.

Thanks.

Keith

p.s. I still don't like candy corn.