Messages for Dez, Lance, Hassel and others.

• Dez Bryant, just pick the pads up, keep your head down, and act like a good teammate. Good gosh, hazing isn't carrying a helmet 50 yards, it's being blindfolded in the dark and forced to listen to the Apocalypse Now soundtrack for 12 straight hours. Not that I'd know anything about that.
• Lance Armstrong, I wish you would've stayed retired, but if Jordan and Ali couldn't resist, I guess it's not easy.
• Chris Hassel, I know you're having trouble sleeping. Just listen to Bo Pelini's news conference from Big 12 Media Days right before bed.
• Shawn Terrell, I know you love Kings of Leon, but your boys have to find some stones. Quitting a show three songs in because pigeons were pooping on them?! That's not very rock-n-roll.
• Andy Fales, a Cardinals fan, Allan Knudsen, sent this picture from Wrigley Field:

• Karlos Kirby, former Olympian from Des Moines, we're all proud of you. This is even more impressive than a fast bobsled run:

(Karlos on left, along with Gen. Petraeus and the head of NATO Sec Gen. Rasmussen)