Globetrotters in for a Big Hassel

(Chris)

Last fall, the Globetrotters called and asked me if I'd like to play with them when they make their trip to Des Moines, April 17th. Of course, I immediately responded by saying, "absolutely not". I'm an American patriot. I take pride in my country, and pride in the greatest franchise of all-time; the Washington Generals.

So when some trickster, by the name of Wun "The Shot" Versher, showed up at the TV station, I was a little confused. I could tell he was a Globetrotter, given his ridiculous nickname and outfit, so I figured he was here to beg me to be on his team (again) -- but he didn't. He presented me with a Generals jersey, and told me that I'd be playing for my favorite team of all time. It's great for me, but what the heck are the Globetrotters thinking? Apparently, they have no idea that about about to bring the pain.

I've been attending Generals games for nearly 25 years. I've never seen them win, but I think it's just a simple lack of leadership. I know the Globetrotter ins and outs. They've been running the same freakin' plays for 100 years! I'm not going to get caught up in all that circus trick-play crap. It's about getting a hand in their face, pushing them around, and showing them that we aren't going to lay down for anyone -- especially the most overrated team in sports history.

In case you aren't aware, I was quite the athlete in my day. I played all the way to 9th grade, in the Muscatine roundball system. The only reason I'm not playing professionally, now, is because I was forced to quit. I was the star of the non-traveling B-team, before things got out of hand. I was kicked out of three straight games, and forced to retire -- an "honorable discharge" if you will.

I look forward to bringing my talents to Wells Fargo Arena, at 2pm, on Sunday. The Globetrotters will enter with a 40-year winning streak, but they'll leave with a big fat "L".